I was living an average middle class life in Orange County, New York. I have two younger sisters and my parents worked hard, sometimes two jobs, to provide for us. We had our normal struggles, but we were happy.
However, the day my 2 year-old sister Stacy was unable to walk, changed everything. Stacy was diagnosed Wilms’ tumor. It is a rare kidney cancer that she successfully fought for two years. Stacy had aggressive Chemotherapy, was in an out of the hospital, lost her hair and went through many struggles at such a young age. My mom cared for her around the clock, my dad worked two jobs to support the family and my younger sister Kelly and I continued to attend school and spent much time living with other families so that my parents could care for Stacy. I spent a lot of time caring for and helping Kelly physically and emotionally navigate these changes. I also helped her overcome a speech impediment that required me to translate for her for a few years. While this was a devastating time, we tried to find the humanity in it all – we got Stacy’s ears pierced so people would know she was a girl and we nicknamed her portable chemo machine Michelle. On a deep personal level, this experience taught me that my daily outlook would have a profound effect on my future. Succumb to the struggle presented or handle it with as much class and sass as we can muster.
Together, as a family, we stayed strong and my sister started our unbreakable bond at an early age. My parents taught me the roots of work ethic and never give up. Stay strong and be a leader for your family and sisters.
School work began to surface as another issue for me. I was having a hard time reading and was put into reading lab beginning in first grade. I knew it was an issue, but hated being different and being pulled out for special education. I hid it from my peers and was afraid of being picked on. The feeling that there was something different or wrong with me was not something I could deal with. I got by with the help of tutors, a variety of different learning techniques and having friends write my papers and “help me” answer test questions. The struggles of not understanding what I was being taught and not being able to express what I knew took a back seat and I managed to advance a grade level each year.
Photo credit: Lisa Brewer
I felt confused, annoyed, embarrassed and insecure when it came to reading and writing. I remember to this day going up to each teacher on the first day of school and asking them to never choose me to read out loud. From 3rd grade to 12th, I refused to read out loud.
In seventh grade, I tried out for the track team and learned that I was good at running. I was immediately put on the Varsity team and ran Varsity track from 7th until 12 grade. I loved everything about it – having a goal, the feeling, being part of a group, the camaraderie and being good at something. I was 2nd in the state and achieved 16th place nationally for the 4×200 relay.
By my senior year, I realized that my strengths were in creativity and athletics. I took outside classes in nail art and cosmetology and even landed a scholarship to a college for interior design. Unfortunately, my learning issues cropped up again and I did not do well enough on my SAT scores to enroll. I was so embarrassed that I lied and told people I was not ready or interested in going to college. I had such a hard time reading and writing that I had a nagging feeling that there was something wrong, but I was still not ready to deal with it.
I pushed forward and went to cosmetology school and became a hair dresser. I loved it. It was creative, easy for me and I was good at it. Around the same time, I continued to pursue my love of exercise and fitness. I became a personal trainer and fitness model. I achieved great success as a trainer, cover model and fitness competitor.
At age 24, just 5 short years ago, I finally was given information that began a new breakthrough for me. When auditioning for a hosting position, my manager asked me to read the script out loud. After a few tries, he looked at me and asked if I was dyslexic. I had never heard the term and had no idea what he was talking about. I went home and searched the internet and realized that I had 9 out of the 10 symptoms. I went to a doctor who confirmed the diagnosis. The doctor was shocked that I graduated High School and managed to get so far in my life and career.
Facing my dyslexia has been a frustrating experience, but accepting it has also been freeing. I have come to learn and express myself using tools like audio lessons, memorization, having people proof read, using bullet point ideas and having people type things up for me. If you follow me or on Facebook or twitter and notice a grammatical or spelling error – you’ll know that it is pure Lindsay Messina! Knowing and embracing my disability allowed me to get the help I needed to move forward in my life and career. I learned that the fear, not the difference, was what held me back.
We all have strengths, weaknesses, gifts and disabilities. We all have moments of unbelievable success and unthinkable struggle. I hope that hearing my story, you can will know that I am just like you – striving for my personal best. I have gotten where I am with the help of people and experiences and I can’t wait to be a part of your journey. Together as a team, I look forward to celebrating as you accomplish your goals.
Embrace who you are – be true to yourself – we are all-special and have something strong to offer. You can achieve anything that’s possible. Your dreams are endless. I feel gifted and stronger in so many other areas and love who I am as a person. What I’ve realized since I was a little girl is that breaking through so many huddles at a young age developed me into being the person I am today. I’ve taken my weakness and turned it into my strength.
